Compulsive Sexual Behaviours and Porn Use

(sometimes referred to as sex addiction)

Some people describe what they’re experiencing as sex addiction. I tend to use the term compulsive sexual behaviours, as it allows us to focus on what’s happening and why, rather than on labels. Whichever language you’re using, the distress and impact are real, and support can help.

Compulsive sexual behaviours describe sexual behaviours that feel out of control or begin to have a negative impact on your life. For some people, this involves one behaviour that has become difficult to manage. For others, it’s a pattern of behaviours that feel repetitive, secretive, or hard to stop, even when they want to.

These behaviours can take many forms. They may include spending increasing amounts of time watching pornography, paying for online sexual content, compulsive use of dating apps or sexting, seeking out escorts or anonymous sex, or having multiple affairs that conflict with personal values. Some people notice a growing reliance on specific fetishes, or patterns of sexual behaviour that feel increasingly narrow or consuming.

Often, these behaviours develop as ways of coping with difficult feelings such as stress, anxiety, shame, loneliness, or boredom. Over time, though, they can begin to cause distress, strain relationships, and affect work, finances, or self-esteem.

Porn use in particular has become a common concern. You may find yourself watching more frequently, seeking more extreme material, struggling to cut back, or noticing that your use is starting to replace other parts of your life that matter to you.

Therapy offers a confidential, non-judgemental space to explore what’s happening beneath the behaviour. The work isn’t about shaming or enforcing abstinence. Instead, we focus on understanding patterns, recognising triggers, and finding more sustainable ways of meeting emotional and sexual needs that fit with how you want to live your life.

Support for Partners

Discovering that a partner is struggling with out-of-control sexual behaviours can be deeply upsetting. Partners often describe feeling shocked, hurt, angry, or unsure where to turn. I work with partners as well as individuals and couples, offering space to make sense of what’s happened, understand the impact, and think carefully about what support you may need moving forward.

Practicalities

Sessions take place online and last 50 minutes.

This work is usually individual, though couple sessions may form part of the work where appropriate.

Sessions are available Monday to Wednesday, from 7 am.